


guide you home to me

by flamingstuffs



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, excessive threatening of my man kravitz, sazed is MENTIONED, taako is valuable to a lot of people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-25 20:53:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13842837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flamingstuffs/pseuds/flamingstuffs
Summary: kravitz has to be warned about the consequences of hurting everyone’s favorite wizard





	guide you home to me

**Author's Note:**

> dont even know
> 
> title from Bind Your Love by Cher Lloyd i think???
> 
> either way, wrote this in like an hour hope u like

It is, predictably, Lup who threatens him first. Kravitz honestly expected it much sooner and with a lot more pyrotechnics. 

Lup grins widely, with just the right touch of smugness and violent potential, and Kravitz instantly understands and accepts his fate. She looms cheerily over the kitchen island as soon as Taako has stepped out of the room, presumably to deal with A Magnus Mess. 

“So, Boss-Man,” Lup trills inquiringly, “What are your intentions with my dear, dear brother?” 

Kravitz smiles uneasily. 

“Because,” Lup continues, glancing nonchalantly back and forth from his vulnerable throat to her perfect and extremely sharp manicure, “if those intentions are anything other than, you know, his ultimate happiness and safety?” Her smile has not faded in the slightest, and if Kravitz had a beating heart it probably would have stopped, at this point. “The consequences will be… I mean...you know what we did to Sazed.” She looks unblinkingly into Kravitz’s eyes, and he could swear he feels his essence dissolving. 

He gulps heavily and nods, kind of frantically. 

Taako bursts back into the kitchen, shrieking about Magnus’ dog fucking up his landscaping or something, and then stops when he sees Kravitz’s face. 

“Hey, you good, my man? You look like you’ve seen a very detailed vision of your own impending death - and it was not a fun party to be at.” Taako pats him on the head comfortingly as he passes to go do something involving lots of almonds and magic golden sparkles and swearing. 

Lup gives Kravitz a wink as she leans back, and he, impossibly, starts to sweat just a little.

-/-/-

The next one is unexpected, but Kravitz, himself, is not the world’s greatest detective. 

“Mr. Kravitz, sir! If I may-“ Angus tugs on the sleeve of his suit coat, politely. “I would like to speak to you in private for a moment!” 

“Of course.” Kravitz, foolishly, agrees. Both parties exit the living room (Occupied by quite the crowd, the majority of whom are unknown to Kravitz) into the gigantic dining room of Taako’s house, which is empty of all signs of life except the gigantic bouquet of flowers in the center of the massive glass table. Not moments after the door shuts, Kravitz finds himself startled by Angus, who whips around, wand drawn, with a surprisingly fierce look in his eyes. 

“Sir! I understand that your job as emissary to the Raven Queen requires you to retrieve the souls of those who have defied death, and I also understand, thanks to the Day of Story and Song, that Mr. Taako has defied death many, many times! I would like a verbal, and perhaps written,” Angus narrows his eyes, “confirmation that your and Mr. Taako’s relationship is not a ploy on your part to reap him and abduct him to the Astral Plane!”

Kravitz, in an embarrassing and reassuring gesture, flaps his hands frantically. “No, no, no! Taako’s bounty - and all the others’ - have been forgiven! I guarantee I mean no harm towards Taako.” 

Angus’ face falls into a concentrating furrow for a moment, before he suddenly lights up with a smile. “Excellent! You failed your saving throw on my Zone of Truth earlier, so I know you can’t be lying!” 

Kravitz splutters. “I - when did you cast -?”

Angus’ smile turns mischievous, making him look alarmingly like Taako. “Miss Lup and Mr. Barry have been teaching me how to do silent spellwork!” He says brightly and terrifyingly. He pats Kravitz comfortingly on the forearm and leaves him staring confusedly at the opposite wall as the heavy doors close. 

-/-/-

Kravitz is very peacefully reading with Taako passed out next to him on the couch, when Magnus approaches from the other side of the room. He looms over Kravitz, and is remarkably less ominous than Lup. It’s a very friendly loom. Magnus makes hand gestures that have no business being as loud as they are, even though it looks like this is his very best attempt at silence. 

“Hey!” Magnus stage-whispers. Kravitz has another sinking feeling that he knows where this is going. Magnus kneels by the arm of the couch and beams at Kravitz. It is, again, not nearly as terrifying as Lup. “I’m really happy for you guys,” Magnus says as quietly as he can. “It’s so great to see Taako this excited about things. In general.” 

Kravitz raises an eyebrow. “Is he not - normally - ah - excited?” 

Magnus chuckles and says, “Nope! But he feels safe around you. That’s valuable.” He suddenly sobers as he gestures between (sleeping) Taako and Kravitz, meeting his eyes. “You need to cherish that trust. Do not misuse it.” 

“I promise you, Magnus.” Kravitz looks over at Taako, whose head is slung over the opposite arm of the couch, long hair brushing the floor, and feels an emotion that he can’t quite place rise up in his chest. “I am certainly cherishing.” Kravitz smiles.


End file.
